I remember a moment in my early career when I was invited to speak at a tech event. I prepared carefully, dressed conservatively, and stuck to the script—wanting to sound polished and credible. The talk went fine, however afterward, someone approached me and said, “You were impressive, but I didn’t quite feel you in it.”
That comment stayed with me, even though I couldn’t quite decipher it at the time.
Growing up in India, truthfulness was a big deal—often taught through stories from Hindu scriptures. My mother tried to instill that in me, something I share more about in my memoir, The Woman in Deed. But back then, the word authentic wasn’t even part of my Hindi vocabulary.
My understanding of authenticity began to evolve once I started noticing how often it was used—and lived—in Western culture. At first, I simply observed how it existed culturally. Over time, though, I realized it meant more than just having integrity or telling the truth.
Someone at my company, Digital Link, once told me they had wanted to work there because I seemed genuine to them. I wasn’t trying to impress them; I was just being myself. And that, they said, is what drew them in.
That experience stayed with me—and it resurfaced during a more recent public speaking workshop. Within the first 10 minutes, my coach Danny said something every speaker should know and practice: “The goal of public speaking is to make people feel what you feel.” I would further add, “in a self-revealing way.”
Looking back at that old tech event, I believe I had spoken with clarity, but not with presence. I had shared facts, but not myself. That was the first time I realized authenticity was about revealing the real me.
Now, to me authenticity means letting your words, actions, and presence reflect how you truly feel inside. It isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real.
Now, to take it a little deeper, the next step is vulnerability. Authenticity actually invites it. You have to let yourself be seen—not only when you’re confident, but also when you’re uncertain—and that’s not always easy. Nonetheless, when I’ve owned up about my doubt or admitted I didn’t have all the answers, I’ve ended up feeling more connected to others.
However, I’ve also experienced the downside. As CEO, I attempted a few times to openly express vulnerability to employees several levels below me. Unfortunately, instead of fostering connection, some began to undermine my authority. Only when they resigned did I realize that vulnerability has a time and place.
One thing I’ve learned is that vulnerability doesn’t guarantee trust, but it does invite it. It’s not just about honesty—it’s about honest living, even when it’s uncomfortable. You let people see the door open, without pushing them to walk through it.
Authenticity isn’t just about having good intentions, it’s about showing your intentions. You can be flawed or even mistaken; if you’re authentic, people still feel like they’re seeing the real you. They might not always agree, but they can trust where you’re coming from.
Which brings me to trust. Are authenticity and trust the same? Not quite. Authenticity comes first. Trust is something others give you; authenticity is something you give yourself.
Each layer builds on the last, helping you connect more deeply—with yourself and others. Maybe, deep down, authenticity even nudges us toward being ego-free. Some people might call that a little bit of nirvana.
13 responses
This resonates so much! I believe authenticity and vulnerability go hand in hand. For me, I had to experience a lot of life and make all the mistakes to eventually arrive in a comfort in who I am. Tons of inner work too via therapy + coaching that allowed myself to forgive myself for mistakes and accept and ultimately be grateful for who I am as I am. It’s a journey for sure!
Now we have an entire business focused on helping humans invest in themselves to attain this authenticity! Love this piece!
Thanks for sharing, Vivek. You are miles ahead of most!
Very well put, Vinita. I have always trusted both Naren and you. I now realise that it is because you have always been authentic. This is an excellent lesson for all public speakers to imbibe. I often find myself just not relating to a speaker- I think it is because they do not seem authentic.
Thank you.
WONDERFUL ARTICLE-IWOULD NOT HAVE REALLY UNDERSTOOD THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AUTHENTICITY AND TRUST!
I HAVE ALREADY ORDERED THE BOOK “THW WOMAN IN DEED-ROAD TO IPO, BRIDGE TABLES AND BEYOND, EXPECTED TO BE DELIVERED ON NOVEMBER 9TH.
I am discovering how people relate with you because of your struggles.That is what my book is about, I think.
Very well put!
We learn more from our mothers .. my mother was the only female in her class when she got her college degree in 1937 in Karachi (a part of India then).
Taught us to be brutally honest even if it hurts!
Good to know your roots, Rita. “Brutally Honest” has no limits, in my way of thinking.
Dear Vinita
Thanks for your penship – which I laud.
It was 1987 when I met you and Naren in the backyard of I think your home at the time. So I write from my memories of that era –
And now we are in 2025 – so 48-years later.
Vinita my experience in life suggests that advocacy – if you refer to your public forum – is really only about engaging. Nothing more nothing less.
I find that of the two distinct human qualities -in my vernacular they are Fear and Greed – rule how people see or hear a public discourse.
The World is more full of Nay Sayers, as saying No – or saying I don’t get it – emanates from fear.
Entrepreneurs like Naren and You are of the minority set. We – You, Naren and even I – travel a road less traveled. Thus must simply don’t get it.
But
The persuasive part – which emanates more from greed (aka passion and being different), is rarely met with acceptance out of the box as it were.
To wit –
Many said Edison was wrong – and so the World took up Alternating Current (AC). But here we all are – Accepting that AC was not particularly great. And DC (Direct Current) is indeed better and BEST.
So the corallary here – is that the greatest gift one human can give to others – is the Gift of Knowledge. Fee accept. But in time they accept,
You have led an exemplary life from my judgment and you are simply right. There is doubt in mind – that you are a Paragon of Wisdom. And thus any dissertation you speak or scribe is one filled with much wisdom.
Take Care – and may our Lord always Bless you and yours,
Thank you for your kind words.
I acknowledge you framing advocacy as engagement was a missed point: it’s not about persuasion, but presence.
I try to keep evolving in thinking.
A reporter once asked, “Mr. Gandhi, how do you manage to speak for so long without any preparation or notes?” Gandhi said, “If a man’s thoughts, words, and deeds are in harmony, he needs no notes.”
Gandhi could have also said, “If a man is authentic, he needs no notes.” The converse of this is also true. When a person or a politician needs a lot of preparation and notes (e.g., for a public speech or a TV debate) he/she is likely not very authentic. Hence not trustworthy.
An interesting point is that an authentic (and unprepared) speech may have more factual errors because it hasn’t been thoroughly fact-checked or edited. But authenticity is far more important in life than factual accuracy.
If I fail to prepare, I suffer the consequences.
Maybe what you are saying is that ‘that’ is the ultimate in authenticity, but I have not arrived there as yet.
Enjoyed reading your article…. just proves what you wrote about ! Whatever you wrote came from the heart and it reflected who you really are…authentic !