A Revelation from the Bridge Table: “Play Your Own Game”

As a bridge player for over a decade, I’ve heard the phrase “play your own game” countless times from experts. Of course, we all play our own game, don’t we? But two weeks after a recent tournament, I realized the concept runs deeper than the bridge table.

I’ve come to understand that “playing your own game” isn’t just about improving my skills through practice, but delivering most peak performance that I can. Even as a seasoned player, during this tournament I got far superior results when I simply relaxed and quieted my mind. That calm state allowed me to access the best version of my game.

This recent revelation showed me a deeper connection between my mental state and my performance. When I’m playing my best, I’m so absorbed in the cards that my opponents fade into the background. My thinking is clearer, my bids are sharper, and my plays are more precise. Is this relaxed state the cause or the effect of playing well? I’m beginning to think it’s a complex, beautiful loop!

How to get into that state is a different subject—for a different column—once I accumulate more experience.

This sudden insight, sparked by the tournament, also helped me notice and improve my interactions with others by reducing conversational tensions I sometimes get into. As a self-proclaimed people person, I thrive on social interaction, but I’ve also found it can become a source of stress. I have realized I often spend too much energy reading into others’ motives—wondering if they’re reverting to old biases, being overly persuasive, or harboring negative intent (which they may or may not have). I’m certain I’m not alone in this habit.

As a result, I zap my energy by being unnecessarily upset, thinking about what and why others are doing things to me. It’s not needed—and it’s not necessary.

Playing your own game can be a new life philosophy: doing our best without overanalyzing others’ intentions. Just like in bridge, when I stop focusing on others and instead tap into my own positive energy, I reach better conclusions because my mind is calmer. The results are nothing short of a “Wow!” moment.

It’s all about tapping into my personal best.

Playing your own game doesn’t mean complete self-absorption. There are still meaningful cues to be found and learned from others and your surroundings—through interactions and listening to people around us, even at the bridge table.

I know this is just the beginning of a journey, and old habits are hard to change. But the implications could be huge. I’m sure there will be further adjustments to this approach, and I’m convinced that if I can make this mindset a habit, I’ll make greater strides—not only at the bridge table, but in life itself.